5 Things Not to Knit (or Crochet)

Shortly after I started knitting two years ago I made a list of things I would NEVER knit or crochet:

1. Dog sweater
2. Table-leg cozies
3. Anything with a pom-pom
4. Doilies
5. Barbie doll clothes

I have now decided to put this list in print and publish it in an attempt to strengthen my resolve to vow off these knitting clichés. Why would I feel the need to do this? Why, temptation of course. Not just by one item but two. I actually went to Ravelry.com and searched for patterns for two of these items.

Can you guess which two? I’ll lay it out like a playmaker game.

-Ken will not see any new clothes
-No toiling over decorative layers
-Cozies are for beer not table legs.
-Poodles or Pomeranians??

Since we are moving overseas we decided (perhaps hastily) to ask my parents who live in Canada to keep our chihuahuas for us. Nellie and Cookie are 7 and 6 pounds respectively. My mom was scared they would freeze like the cement doggie statue we keep in our flowerbed. I actually went to Ravelry.com and typed “dog sweater” in the search bar. Someone needs to come over and slap me! Instead of turning to rock statues, they transformed into super-potty puppies getting their business completed with Indy pit-crew speed. YES! Une Cliché averted. I forget what is French for averted. You get the picture.

Then came these horrendous toques that the NFL designed for their players to wear this season. Who looks good in a beanie with a giant pom-pom on the top?? NO ONE. Oh wait thats a lie. I will drool over Tom Brady no matter what he is wearing. Maybe hubs thought if he wore a toque with a horrendous pom-pom I would drool over him too. I love him and all but, no.

I tried to appease him. I knit him a beanie with a patriots logo in intarsia. He said no. My neighbor, Chris, loves it. I tried a striped version with no logo. Chris’ son got that one. Finally I got out my pom-pom maker and actually experimented to see if I could make a pom-pom!

Christmas traveling saved me. By the time we got home he had run into an authentic NFL Patriots beanie complete with god-awful pom-pom attached proudly to the top. It is atrocious and thankfully I will never have to say I made it.

Mom is still working on me about the dog sweater but I’m hoping this will give me the motivation to abstain. And you know if I take my glasses off in the right light I can pretend he is Tom Brady now. Added bonus: I spent hours working on this patriots color logo so I may as well sell it at Ravelry.com. Follow the link to get a copy of the color chart I made for this project with the Patriots Logo.

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